Out of the Darkness into the Light
by GraphXButterfly
Summary: Chakotay finally convinces Kathryn to give up her all mighty principles, and they began to explore their relationship, but Kathryn comes down with a rare but deadly disease, will her admission of her love have come to late? UPDATED! CHAPTER 12!
1. Loves New Beginnings

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 1

Loves New Beginnings

By: Butterfly Kathryn

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I just playing (Wink)

Summery: Chakotay finally convinces Kathryn to give up her all mighty principles, and they began to explore their relationship, but Kathryn comes down with a rare but deadly disease, will her admission of her love have come to late? Chapter seven is up.

The stars streaked by; the familiar hum of the warp engines brought comfort to her. It had only been two days since Chakotay and she had returned from New Earth. She was glad to be back, but still a part of her longed to be there. She had opened up, like a flower that blooms only once, she had dropped the boundaries, and the walls, let him in. Only to have to be pulled back, back to her old life. She wondered how they were going to work it out. She had fallen in love with him, well not exactly then but she finally let the feelings she had out into the open. She told him, confessed that she had loved him all along. Then they crossed the final barrier, proved their love to each other. She had tried to stop it. After the plasma storm, they had had to rebuild the shelter. She was not used to the hard labor, and she had developed knots in her shoulders and back. Chakotay offered a backrub, which she gladly accepted. As he was massaging her shoulders, she realized her feelings. She was uncomfortable and quickly got up. She then laid down in her small cubical. She laid there trying to sleep, but all she could do was think about her feelings. She got up and talked to him. She tried to reinforce her boundaries. He told her that he loved her, well not directly. He told her a story about a beautiful women warrior, who had captured a chief. At the end of the story, he said that the chief would always be there for the warrior. She raised her hand to him and they interlocked their fingers. It was then, that moment when the walls crumbled. For the first time since she was thrown into the delta quadrant, she was happy, truly happy.

Now she was in distress. Just a few days after they confessed, Voyager came back with the antidote. At the time she just wanted to yell 'NO' I want to stay, however she knew she couldn't. She had to go back. She had to go back to being captain. She now sat curled up in front of the window in her quarters, a cup of coffee warming her hands. She gazed out into the darkness of space, thinking, trying to decide where to go from here. She loved him- that much was certain. She knew they could never go back to they way it was before, but could they have a relationship here, here on voyager? Her mind was racing; hundreds of thoughts danced across it. What would the crew think? What would happen if there was an accident, how would she react? Would she make the right decision? There were so many possibilities, and so many variables. She decided to talk to Chakotay, besides she hadn't seen him since they had been released form sickbay.

Kathryn set her half drained cup of coffee on the coffee table in front of her; she slipped on her shoes, and left her quarters. Kathryn crossed the small distance between her door hand his. She stood in front of his door, took a deep breath, and then rang the chime. She waited only a minute or two for him to answer but it felt like an eternity.

Chakotay opened the door knowing exactly who was on the other side; he had a somber look on his face. Kathryn could tell that he knew what she was there fore. Kathryn spoke, her voice barley a whisper, "Chakotay, could I come in. We really need to talk."

Chakotay looked her over; she was warring a simple blue dress, defiantly not meant to impress anyone. But it looked beautiful on her never the less. Her long hair was let down, her soft hazel eyes were a solemn gray. She looked so un-captain like, she stood there in front of him not as the sure strong-hearted 'Captain', but as the tinder, sensitive, unsure Kathryn. Chakotay motioned for her to come inside. She slowly walked past him. She sat down on his couch. He offered her a cup of coffee, but she declined. He sat down next to her on the couch. There was a long silence. Chakotay turned his body to her. Her head was down and her eyes were on the floor. She knew they needed to talk but she had no idea where to begin, or what to do. Chakotay took a breath then whispered, "Kathryn" he placed a finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to his.

Kathryn stared into his chocolate brown eyes; tears began to sting her eyes. Chakotay could see her fighting back the tears; he decided that he should say something. "Kathryn," his voice was gentle and soft, "I know we have a lot to talk about, and…" his voice trailed off. Kathryn had lost the battle with her emotions; the whole situation, all of her pent-up emotions came to a head and tears now flowed freely. Chakotay pulled her in close to him. He gently stroked her back. He was slightly stunned as it was the first time he had ever seen her cry. Slowly her tears began to subside. Chakotay just held her and rocked her gently in his arms whispering gentle words of comfort to her. She had no idea that when she had decided to come and talk to him it would lead to her crying her eyes out on his lap. She felt safe, comfortable and warm in his embrace.

Kathryn's mind was still trying to figure out what they were going to do. After several more minutes Kathryn looked up and spoke for the first time since she had come in. "Chakotay," her voice was raspy and quiet, "What are we going to do?" Her eyes were pleading. Chakotay realized that when she came to talk to, she had not already decided that they couldn't be together.

Chakotay brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. "I don't know," he whispered to her.

Kathryn sat up and turned to face him. "Could we actually have a relationship here?" her question was honest. She truly was unsure.

Chakotay contemplated what to say, how to answer her question. The answer finally came to him. "I'm not sure if we can or can't," he told her, "but to be honest I think that we can. Just look at Tom and B'Elanna. Their love is just blooming. And as far as the question of what the crew would think, I can tell you, they would support us one hundred percent."

Kathryn looked at him; she was surprised at his response. He was sure even though he said he wasn't. And how on earth did he know that she was going to ask about how having a relationship would effect the crew? "Chakotay?" Kathryn whispered

"Yes," Chakotay responded.

"How did you know what I was going to say about the crew?"

"I know that you always put them first, it's one of the things that I admire most about you. You are selfless when it comes to them, you would give your life to protect any one of them, from Tuvok right down to Naomi Wildman." He reached out his had as he talked and took hers in it. "You would much rather keep yourself in a bubble not letting in anyone in if it would harm the crew in any way, but I know the crew wants you to be happy. You can ask any one of them and they would tell you the same thing." Chakotay smiled at her as he debated whether or not he should divulge any of the information he had gathered over the course of their voyage. The look on her face made his decision for him. "Besides," he grinned "I happen to know that the crew has been betting on our relationship for quite some time now."

It was now Kathryn's turn to be surprised and taken aback. She had no Idea that the crew was betting on their relationship. She knew Tom had betting pools, but all the ones that she had come across were on pool or other events. Had Chakotay been keeping this a secret from her intentionally? "Chakotay, when were you going to tell me about this?" she asked.

"I wasn't letting the information go all the way to you, partly because I didn't want to hurt any chance of us getting together. Also it would have been a huge blow to the crews moral if you had shut down the betting pool. Most of the crew is in on it. And they, I can assure you, were really hoping that we would finally get together."

Kathryn was shocked; she had nearly convinced herself that the crew would look down upon her and Chakotay getting together. She was unsure if she should be furious with Chakotay for keeping the betting pool secret, or if she should be overwhelmed with happiness for having one of the largest worries that she had alleviated. At the moment, Kathryn decided –'to hell with being upset.' She smiled at Chakotay deviously. "Chakotay," she said mock sternness in her voice. "That wasn't very nice that you were keeping that information from me. But you did just help to ease some of my nervousness. But," her voice trailed off as the other worry that she had came, creeping back into her mind.

Chakotay go worried, "What is it Kathryn?" He asked holding on to both of her hands. Kathryn had dropped her head down, but she lifted it to look into his eyes.

"Chakotay," she said. She could feel the tears threatening to return. "What if, what if something were to happen to you, or I had to send you on an away mission that was dangerous. I don't know if I could…"

Chakotay knew where she was going. The same thought had crossed his mind only reversed. Could he let her go on a dangerous away mission? He brushed his hand across her cheek "Kathryn, you know as well as I do that we would both still make the correct decision. It doesn't matter weather or not we are dating. Even if we weren't, we still love each other and we would still be sending or letting each other go, into a dangerous situation. We have been doing that all this time."

Kathryn's eyes widened. He was right, she had been. She had been sending the man she loved into hostile territory and high-risk missions for as long as she had loved him. Kathryn felt a strange comfort at the revelation that she could still do her duty. She looked straight at him then fell into his embrace. After staying in his arms for some time, she finally decided to break the silence. "Chakotay," she smiled at him, tears of joy starting to flow to the surface. "I guess I had been trying so hard to convince myself that we could never be together that I didn't even see that we could." She hugged him. Finally deciding that no matter what happened that she would never want to deny herself the chance to spend every waking moment with him ever again. As she hugged Chakotay a devious thought crossed her mind. "Chakotay" she broke the embrace and looked into his eyes once more. A devilish grin set on her lips.

"Yes love?" he asked gently.

She smiled and laughed, "What do you say, we boost the crew moral a little"

Chakotay grinned back at her, "I say, Captain, that is a wonderful idea," Kathryn smiled even more at the use of her title. For once Kathryn was in charge not the 'Captain'. The two of them then left his quarters, their hands entwined. Kathryn leaned on his shoulder slightly as they made their way to the mess hall. Chakotay silently offered up a prayer of thanks to whatever spirit had finally let Kathryn into his life on Voyager forever.


	2. An Unexpected Turn

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 2

An Unexpected Turn

Kathryn sat at her desk; she was reading an engineering report that B'Elanna had brought to her that morning. It had been three weeks, three wonderful weeks, since she and Chakotay returned to Voyager, after spending several weeks captive on a planet they had dubbed New Earth. They had been forced to leave the ship after being bitten by an insect. During their time together on New Earth they had grown close to each other. Kathryn smiled remembering the night they were first together. Then the night five days later, after the ship came back with the antidote. She had been nervous. She loved Chakotay and opened up to him never believing that they would ever return to Voyager. Then they did. Chakotay had helped her to decide that it didn't matter where they were, they could still love each other and have a relationship.

Kathryn's smile widened as she remembered the hours after they agreed on trying out their relationship on voyager. They had walked to the mess hall together. Holding hands, she had leaned gently on his shoulder reveling in the feeling of his warmth. When they walked into the mess hall, there was dead silence. Tom, who had been in the process of carrying his tray to the table he shared with B'Elanna, stopped in his tracks; his tray hit the ground just a moment before his mouth did. Kathryn would never forget his expression, ever. Kathryn inwardly laughed at Tom but pretended not to notice. She was glad when Chakotay did the same. The two of them found a small table in a corner. Chakotay got their trays of food, if you could call it that; it smelled ok but it had a strange orange tint to it. Kathryn reluctantly tasted it and, to her surprise, found it had a pleasant flavor, Kathryn and Chakotay just talked and ate, happy knowing that neither one would leave the other. After they finished their meals they went back to her quarters. They talked well into the night, then…

A loud chime sounded, bringing Kathryn back to the present

"Come in" she said, the smile that she wore evident in her voice. Harry Kim appeared at the foot of her desk. "Harry, what can I do for you?"

"I just came to give you this." He handed her his tactical report.

"Thank you, Harry," she smiled. She then had an idea, "Harry, would you mind staying and having a cup of coffee with me?" Kathryn had taken a liking to the young man, but never could find time to get to know him. She was in a good mood and decided that perhaps she should get to know her crew a little better.

"A sure captain," Harry said not sure how to respond. Kathryn got up from her desk and went to the replicator. She ordered to cups of coffee and motioned for Harry to join her on the couch. Harry sat nervously, he was unsure as to what was going on. It was unusual for the captain to ask for his company, or any crewmember's for that matter. He wondered why she asked him to join her for coffee. To Harry's surprise, she just wanted to chat and get to know him. They talked for a while before he noticed her wince and rub her brow. "Captain, are you all right," Harry asked, concern creeping into his voice.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just maybe I shouldn't have had a cup of coffee on an empty stomach." Kathryn gave a weak smile. Her stomach had started hurting just after she'd finished her coffee; the ache continued to worsen. Her head was also starting to hurt.

"Do you want me to call the Doctor?" Harry asked.

Kathryn looked at him and responded, "Absolutely not, that's the last thing I need." She smiled at Harry. "Every time I go in there he lectures me."

Harry saw the humor in her words, but was still concerned. He had taken a good look at her. She did not look to well; her face had grown pale and her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes had grown dim also. "I know, captain, but you don't look to well," Harry told her.

"I'm fine Harry," Kathryn said, "Thank you for being concerned, but I'll be just fine after I eat something." Kathryn gave him a smile then patted his shoulder. Harry smiled and discretely checked the time; he had been in her ready room for nearly two hours! Tom was going to wonder if she had killed him or something. Harry excused himself, and went to talk to Chakotay about how the captain looked.

After Harry left, Kathryn slowly got up and made her way back to the replicator. She ordered a small bowl of fruit; eating it she found that instead of making her feel better, she felt worse." She decided to lie down on the couch for a little while to see if she could fight what ever was making her feel so horrible. She did not want to go to sickbay.

Just a few minutes after she had lain down, her chime rang once more. She was barely able to call out the words "come in," the pain in her stomach was wrenching and her head was pounding. Chakotay appeared at the door briefly before he was at her side.

"Kathryn!" he said, Harry was right she looked awful; her face was ashen, her cheeks were a bright pink, and her lips were crimson. She lay on her side with her legs drawn in close to her chest, her arm across her abdomen. "What's wrong?" Chakotay was really concerned, it was the worse he had ever seen her. Chakotay ran his had across her brow, pushing the hair that had escaped from her bun out of her face. Chakotay gasped "O Kathryn you're burning up, we have to get you to sickbay." Normally Kathryn would have protested but she was in pain. She felt like a million needles were driving in to her skull and a hundred starships were crashing into her stomach. "Chakotay to transporter room one. Beam the captain and I directly to sickbay."

"I'm sorry Commander but the transporters are down" came the voice of a young ensign over the COM.

Damn, Chakotay thought "Thank you ensign," he cut the link. He knew that he had to get her to sickbay but unfortunately, with the transporters down, she would either have to walk or he would have to carry her. "Kathryn can you walk?" he asked her gently. Kathryn shook her head unable to find the energy or strength to talk. Tears of pain begin to flow from her eyes. Chakotay hit his combadge "Doctor, prepare for an emergency patient," he alerted the EMH. Chakotay gently scooped her up into his arms. She lay her head on his shoulder, unable to support it's weight. Chakotay hurried out of the ready room through the back door, he did not want to alarm the rest of the crew. He hurried down the corridor and into the turbo lift. Kathryn groaned as a pain stabbed through her abdomen. "It's ok Kathryn were almost to sick bay. I promise we'll get there soon. Every thing will be all right." His words were intended to calm her as well as himself. As soon as the doors opened Chakotay was moving, just a few steps later he had her in sickbay where the doctor quickly had him lay her down on the bio bed. The doctor took a quick scan of her then pressed a hypo spray into her neck. Her body relaxed as she fell in to a deep sleep.

The doctor proceeded with his scans while Chakotay sat by her side. She looked very tiny lying in front of him. Her hair was mused and her face still had the complexion from earlier. The doctor finished his scans then disappeared into his office. About ten minuets later he came out. "Doctor?" Chakotay questioned.

"She appears to have contracted a viral infection. However I will know more in the morning. Chakotay, I suggest that you go and get some sleep, she'll still be here in the morning."

Chakotay nodded, He leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. "Come on Kathryn you can fight this. Get better for me," he whispered to her before turning to retire to his cabin for a restless night.


	3. Bereavement

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 3

Bereavement

When Chakotay awoke his thoughts immediately drifted to Kathryn who lay in sickbay. He groaned as he pulled himself out of bed, he had gotten next to no sleep tossing and turning through the night. He was stiff and sore but he that didn't concern him any, he was concerned for one person and one person only.

He hurriedly dressed and all but ran to sickbay. When he entered the lights were dimmed, he could see the lights on in the doctors office. He went to her. She was lying in the surgical bay; she looked very tiny on the large bed. Her hair was in a braid; Chakotay knew that the doctor had done that so that it would be easier to treat her. Her face was pale, except for her cheeks being rosy.

The doctor came out of his office; he'd heard Chakotay come in. He watched as he took her hand into his. The doctor moved closer to them and Chakotay heard him. He looked at him with eyes that pleaded, asking him for good news, "How is she"

The doctor regretted what he had to say, her prognoses wasn't good. At that moment the doctor wished he could have been anyone else, not having to tell him. "Commander if you will fallow me into my office, please" his voice was solemn, and low. Chakotay nodded and fallowed him, thinking 'Now I know this can't be good'

Once inside his office the doctor stated, "Commander, I wish that I had good news for you, but…" Chakotay paled at his words, he swallowed hard as the doctor continued, "I don't, she has somehow contracted limtions disease" the doctor paused letting the news sink in.

Chakotay's mind raced trying to remember what he knew about the disorder, he dug into the back of his brain. He remembered that it had nearly wiped out half of North America in the late twenty third century, and the cure it's self was risky and could kill you. "How did she..." his voice choked out his throat suddenly becoming very dry.

"I'm not sure exactly, but the virus has been know to lay dormant for extremely long periods of time before it shows it's self. It's possible that she has been a carrier for most of her life, and something triggered it." The doctor looked solemnly at Chakotay who was trying to digest the news, and not doing a very good job at it.

"What's the risk to the rest of the crew?" he was worried not only for Kathryn's safety, but the rest of the crews, this was a dangerous virus one that could completely incapacitate the crew.

"The risk to the rest of the crew is minimal, considering that the grand majority of humans, are immune to it now days. There are occasionally a few instances that I human is not born with the antibody, considering that every one that did not have the anti body pretty much died in the late twenty third century." The doctor was glad that that was the case; the treatment for this particular disease was dangerous enough and hard enough to set up for one individual, let alone an entire ship full.

Chakotay nodded, at least no ones else, he prayed would contract it. "So what's the first step?" he felt his heart jump into his throat.

"The first thing is to inform the crew, they need to know the early warning signs, just incase. Then I need B'Elanna to set up a containment filed to store some of the radiation from the warp core. That will be used to help obliterate the virus. She will also need to construct a special stasis chamber to place the captain in during the treatment." Chakotay nodded absorbing all of the information that the doctor was telling him. Which made the lump in his throat grow. From what he remembered from his health class, the dosages of radiation she would have to receive could in it's self kill her. However it was something they had to due. If they didn't perform the radiation treatment, she would die regardless. "I will make the announcement and inform B'Elanna what I will need done. In the mean time all we can do for is keep her comfortable, and keep the crews spirits up."

Once again Chakotay nodded not being able to trust himself to speak. He then walked out of the doctor's office and to Kathryn's side again. He healed her hand for some time before he whispered to her, "hey you, your not suppose to do this, I mean you gave Herry a scare doing that, and me along with him." He gently stroked her fore head. A soft moan emanated from her mouth has she begin to awaken. She moved her head from side to side slightly before slowly opening her eyes. "Hey there" Chakotay whispered.

She looked around disorientated for a minuet or two before she got her bearings. She looked at Chakotay before stating softly "What happened"

"I'll let the doctor explain, how do you feel." He pushed some hair away from her face. And dropped his hand to the other holding her hand.

"Tired" she said half closing her eyes.

"Doctor" he called out just loud enough for him to hear but not enough to disturbed her. The doctor came out wondering why he'd called him, noting the look on the doctor's face he stated, "She's awake" the doctor nodded and grabbed a tri-corder, and walked over to the bio bed that contained Kathryn.

Running the tri-corder over her he asked, "how are you feeling?"

She looked at him her eyes glazed, she gave a week smile, "well like I told him," she barley moved her head gesturing to Chakotay, "I'm tired" her voice sounded extremely week, giving a sound to the way she looked.

The doctor became slightly smug, "well, I glade to see that your sense of humor hasn't changed at all," his response was exactly what she was looking for. She laughed slightly but it turned into a moan as pain shoot through her abdomen. The doctor sighed and grabbed a hypo spray; he loaded a cartridge into it and pressed itto her neck. "The pain reliever wore off, but that should help."

She nodded then asked the question that she really didn't want the answer to. "Doctor, what's wrong with me?" she looked worried, and he could tell that she already had an idea that it wasn't something that she wanted to hear. She knew it had to be serious; he took a deep breath, like he actually need to, and told her.

"Captain," he started, "I wish I had better news for you but I don't, there really isn't any way to say this but to just say it." He swallowed hard and paused, dreading telling her more then he had when he told Chakotay, telling someone that they were most likely going to die was never an easy thing to do, it was made worse by the fact that she was not only his captain, but a valued friend as well.

Noticing his discomfort and the look on Chakotay's face she knew it had to be worse the she had thought it was, she slowly with what strength she had snaked her hand to the doctor's. She gave it a gentle squeeze, and whispered, "Doctor, I'm going to die aren't I, It's all right you can tell me," she said the words so calmly that Chakotay could feel the tears rushing to his eyes, then spilling over. If the doctor was capable of true crying he would have at that moment.

The Doctor took both his hands and clasped hers into them, mirroring Chakotay's; it wasn't normal for him to show such affection, "Captain, you have contracted limtions disease."

Though impossible Kathryn's face paled even more, she had studied the disorder in great detail well at the academy; she had even done a report on it in her third year. The majority of the people that died, died during treatment, being if you did not posses the anti body, you had to under go intense radiation therapy, also those that survived, often had long term effects from the radiation, ranging from becoming sterile all the way to deafness, blindness, and other things related to radiation exposure. Only about five percent out of the thirty that survived the radiation therapy recovered fully. And out of that five percent two percent relapsed, and about half of them didn't recover. No, this was not something to be taken lightly.

The doctor's voice broke into her thoughts, "Captain do you know what the disorder is"

She was still to stunned to cry or even feel like crying in fact pretty much all emotion left her body, she doubted that even Tuvok had reached the state that she was in at that moment. "Yes, doctor I know the disorder better then you think, I know what it is capable of and all of the odds." Her voice was blank not a single hit of emotion was in it, it sounded eerie, and robotic. The tone or lack there of in her voice made Chakotay hold her hand even more protectively.

The doctor nodded, her lack of emotion was noted, "I see, then you know that the treatment is dangerous, and there isn't much of a chance that you will survive." She nodded her face still as blank as her voice had been. Chakotay was fighting not to lose it completely, he seemed more upset then Kathryn was to the doctor, but then again for her the initial shock had yet to wear off. "However I will do every thing in my power to make sure you do, I have all ready had B'Elanna start making the preparations, and she says that they will be done by tomorrow afternoon." Kathryn only nodded, not completely believing that it was happening, it was almost as if she were watching the whole situation form a distance, like a dream and that at any moment she would wake up, safe and sound next to Chakotay. But this wasn't a dream it was real very real. Kathryn could here the doctor's words distantly now, they were drifting farther and farther away, she was slipping into unconsciousness, the room got darker and darker, and his words moving furtherer and furtherer away until there was nothing…


	4. Bittersweet Prospects

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 4

Bittersweet Prospects

Kathryn slowly awoke; she could hear a muffled argument. She looked around the room trying to get her bearings. She soon remembered where she was and why. She felt tired, worn out and feeble. She couldn't quite tell who was arguing with whom, but she figured that one of the people had to be the doctor, considering that the argument was emanating from _his_ office. She pulled herself off the bio bed with shaky legs. She caught her balance as she nearly fell. She steadied herself using the edge of the bio bed, then slowly made her way toward the office, so that she could hear what was going on. As she moved closer she could make out that it was indeed the doctor, he was arguing with Chakotay about something, she smiled to herself knowing that it was most likely about her. She stopped just before the window.

"Doctor it's to risky, you don't know if it will even work. At least the radiation has been proven to work." His voice was rising in his fear and anger.

"Commander, I know that it has never been tested, however it would be safer."

"You don't know that for sure, we'd only have enough time to try once, if this plan doesn't work she'll die."

"Don't you think that I'm aware of that, I really would like to try this, it's the same theory as the radiation, and it wouldn't expose her to the high doses of radiation she'd have to under go. Which if you remember correctly that in it's self could kill her." The doctor sounded angry that Chakotay wouldn't go with what he was purposing, he also sounded confident that his idea, whatever that was, would work and would be safer. "Commander the treatment that was originally instated was done so in the late twenty third century, our medical technology is far more advanced, I believe that this will work."

"I believe that you do it's just I don't want her being a guinea pig."

"Commander, are you implying that…" His voice was cut short when he heard another.

"Doctor, why don't you discus your idea with me and not Chakotay, after all I'm the one that could die." Both men's heads turned to see Kathryn standing in the doorway; she was shaking slightly and had one hand one the frame for support.

Simultaneously they jumped up: calling her by her title and name, then Chakotay's voice rang out "you shouldn't be up why on earth." He scooped her up and carried her back to the bio bed. Setting her down, as the doctor came around to the other side.

"Captain, you need to stay in bed and conserve your strength, and for that why on earth were you out of bed." He was scanning her as Chakotay brushed hair out of her face.

"I heard you two arguing and I wanted to know why. It's never a good thing when people argue in a sickbay." She said pushing Chakotay's hand away and sitting up. She was tired and felt week but she wanted to know what on earth they had been arguing about. "Now, tell me what you talking about." She managed to say before Chakotay and the doctor pushed her back down.

"I'll explain it in a minuet now lay down." The doctor stated clearly annoyed, "I swear Captains are the worst patients ever." He took a few more scans purposely holding out on telling her.

Kathryn knew full well what he was doing; he liked to do it to her. She figured that he was trying to teach her patience but at the present moment she'd had enough. "Doctor," she stated weekly giving him a death glare, or least the best one she could muster at the moment.

The doctor sighed and smiled smugly for a second before he spoke. "Well I have been studying our data base and came across an interesting idea, It was first introduced by Dr. Jeffery Tymen during the early twenty forth century. He figured that if someone were to develop a way, without radiation, to destroy the white blood cells then it should work the same way, without all the secondary risks to the person. He figured that you could create a…"

"Low level pathogen, that would target the white blood cells, and no other tissue, He also stated that the pathogen would have to have a short half life or the rest of the treatment wouldn't work, because the pathogen would kill the introduced white blood cells as well. I'm very much aware of Tymen's theory doctor." Kathryn stated finishing for the doctor.

The doctor was very much taken aback; he had no Idea that the captain knew so much about this particular disease. He figured that was why she took the news the way she did. "I had no idea that you knew so much on this subject."

"I wrote a paper on it back at the academy, got an A on it too, but that's not important right now," she pulled herself back into a sitting position, she hated discussing things of this much importance well laying on her back. She could feel Chakotay trying to make her lay down again but manage to keep him from doing so. "What is important is that his theory was turned down, it is next to impossible to create such a specific pathogen."

"Your very much correct captain, however I have developed a slightly different approach to this very problem. I believe that I have created a pathogen that would only target the white blood cells."

"That may be so doctor, but that doesn't solve the problem of the pathogen destroying the new cells."

"I know and I have given that extreme thought, and have developed a way to combat the pathogen."

Kathryn's interest was peeked now; it was the first time in nearly fifty years that anyone had come up with another idea, besides radiation therapy, for treating this disease. "I'm listening"

The doctor turned on the monitor that was next to the bed. "This is the pathogen here," he pointed to a section of the screen. "I have genetically engineered it to target white blood cells and white blood cells only. However I was unable to engineer a sufficient half-life. Which would hinder the rest of the treatment."

"Yes, that's the same problem they had originally, no one could create a pathogen that would die quickly enough."

"Indeed, That is why I developed this." He pressed a few buttons and another image appeared on the screen. "I have developed this to target the pathogen and destroy it, before the new white blood cells are administered." The doctor folded his arms across his chest. He looked very smug.

"You, believe that this would work?" He nodded. Kathryn was interested, although what Chakotay said was correct, either way there would be only one chance, one mistake, one miscalculation with either treatment could cost her her life. "Ok, say that I decided to go with this, and not the radiation, how would you go about the treatment?"

The doctor was waiting for this moment; he had a very detailed explanation for her. "I would first administer the pathogen, it would then start destroying the white blood cells in you system, as well as the bone marrow. During this time you will be under strict quarantine, as to not expose you to any other viruses, or bacteria so that you don't develop a secondary infection. As soon as your white blood cells are destroyed then I will administer the antidote. Once the pathogen is destroyed. The rest is the same as the radiation procedure. I will perform a bone marrow transplant form a donor, thus giving you the anti body to combat the virus." When he finished, he noted that she was deep in thought.

His proposal sounded very well thought out. She looked at him, "I'd like to review your research, please." She didn't doubt the doctor, and his idea sounded a whole lot more inviting then being intentionally exposed to high levels of radiation.

He nodded then picked up a data padd from a tray that lay next to the bio bed, "I thought you would" he handed her the padd. She took it and started to read over it. "Captain I don't want to rush you, except I'm sure you know that you have to make your decision soon. We're running out of time, soon the virus will reach your lungs, and heart, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you what happens next."

She nodded, he was right; it had been nearly three days since the virus manifested it's self. The virus was capable of killing its victims in three days if they were in poor health to began with, however she was healthy, which gave her more of a chance, still the longest anyone ever survived without treatment was seven days, there fore not giving her much time to decide which treatment to go with. She laid back reading the padd, she had become slightly dizzy sitting and opted to lie down. She finished reading all the information, his idea sounded very plausible, and a lot better then the alternative. She would have said go a head right then and there except Chakotay had seemed extremely concerned and she decided to get his opinion. "Doctor, could Chakotay and I discuss this for a moment"

"Yes, of course," he excused himself to his office.

"Chakotay, what do you think about this?"

"Well to tell you the truth, I don't like any of it, not ejecting you with a pathogen that will kill off your bodies only means of protecting it's self from infection, and then hoping that the antidote is successful to prevent the same pathogen from destroying the one thing that would save your life. I also don't like the idea of exposing you to such high doses of radiation that could kill your, or severely disable you either."

"Chakotay, I hate to say this but those at the moment are our only options, and it's not like we have very much time to come up with a new one."

Chakotay sighed, he took her hand into his, "I know, it's just I love you and I don't want to lose you, every thing keeps pointing to the fact you could die. And frankly that scares the hell out of me."

"I understand but I need to make a decision, and soon," she looked down at her hands then back up into his eyes. "Chakotay, did the doctor actually tell you the severity of this?"

"No, all he said was that it could kill you,"

She squeezed his hand tightly before continuing, "what he didn't tell you was how fast it could kill. This virus has the ability of killing a person in three days, but that usually only happens if the person is young, weak, or old. However the longest a person lived without treatment was only seven days, as soon as the virus migrates to the heart and lungs, that's pretty much it. That is why I need to make this decision now." She gazed into his eyes deeply, letting him know that she was serious. She took a very deep breath, " I think that the doctors idea is the best plan, I know that it has never been tested, but most of what happens out here hasn't. Also the chances of me surviving the radiation are very low, especially in my weekend state, the grand majority of people that died, died during treatment, so…" her voice trailed off.

Chakotay nodded, he was still unaware of the odds of her surviving the original treatment, and that was probably a good thing. "All right, if you're that confident about the doctors plan, then I say let's go for it." He gently kissed her, still holding onto her hand.

"Doctor," she called out, barely loud enough for him to hear. She could feel herself growing even weaker, and new that they needed to start the treatment soon, or else. She pushed the thought away, as the doctor came out. He nodded to her, a silent question asking her what they had decided. "I've, we've, decided that we'll go with your treatment."

The doctor nodded, "All right just let me get prepared, and we'll start just a soon as Kes comes in this afternoon. In the meant time I suggest you try and get some sleep, and commander, aren't you suppose to be getting back to the bridge?" Chakotay nodded, he leaned down and kissed her once more, before heading to the door, he stopped and looked back to her. "Don't worry Commander I'll call you and let you know if there is any change, and before we start treatment. Chakotay gave one more nodded of understanding before he disappeared. The doctor turned his attention back to Kathryn. Pressing a hypo spray into her neck, he said, "this is a sedative, it will help you sleep,"

"Thank you for everything doctor, I know I'm in good hands" she managed to say before she succumbed to the sedative.


	5. At Death's Door

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 5

At Death's Door

Kes walked into sickbay to find the doctor in his office, he was going over the last of the details of the procedure that he'd developed. "Doctor" Kes' soft voce filled the room. He looked up at the young woman.

"Kes good, the captain has agreed to go with our plan, so if you wouldn't mind getting the pathogen ready" she nodded, and left to get what was required. "Doctor to commander Chakotay, we're ready to began."

"Understood, I'm on my way." Chakotay looked around the bridge; everyone's face said the same thing. Solemn and sad, praying that their captain would pull through. Many didn't know exactly what was wrong with her, but they did know that she was in big trouble. "Tom you have the bridge" with that he was gone.

Kathryn slowly opened her eyes, she was miserable, and just the mere action of lifting her eyelids, felt like she was trying to lift voyager. Her eyes focused only enough to make out the shape of the man above her. She tried to speak, but couldn't find the energy to open her mouth. She lay on the bio bed thinking 'this is it I'm not going to make it' her eyes began to drift shut once more, her body to weak, her muscles to tired, to allow even that small of an action.

"Captain, captain can you hear me?" the doctor asked, concern very evident in his voice. Her condition had deteriorated within the five minuets it took Chakotay to make it from the bridge to sickbay. Chakotay walked into sickbay and spotted Kes instantly. He walked over to her then spotted the doctor, and that look the look that meant something's gone wrong. "Captain, please open your eyes again," the doctor commanded, in a voice that sounded more like a plea. Chakotay watched as he loaded several hypo-sprays and pressed them into her neck. He was transfixed on the doctor; his had gripping the edge of the consol Kes was working at, his fingers growing white with the interrupted blood flow. Kes had taken her hand and placed it atop his, gently holding it. Letting him know that everything would be fine.

The doctor continued to try to awaken her, a few times he thought he'd come close, however she still managed to avoid the conscious world. He stopped, and put his tri-corder down and looked in the direction of Chakotay, he sighed before he spoke. "The virus has moved, it's now in her lungs and heart." The doctor looked real in those few seconds, he looked as if at any moment he could walk through those doors, and down the corridors, and into his quarters and cry. His face showed the grief that was mirrored in Chakotay's eyes and Kes'. The doctor looked at Kes, "we don't have time to sterilize the area, and we will just have to risk a secondary infection. Time is not on our side. Hand me the pathogen." Kes handed him a small cartage that he loaded into the hypo-spray. He pressed it to her neck with a hiss. He then instructed Kes. "Kes, the virus will move quicker now, that she has no defenses, I need you to alert me when the pathogen has completely destroyed her white blood cells and her living bone marrow and if there is any, I mean any change in her status, no matter how minor, that could be the difference between her living and dieing understood." Kes nodded, very aware of the situation. "Commander if you will fallow me?"

Kes nearly had to push Chakotay into the doctor's office, but his legs finally moved. He walked in; the doctor had already seated himself. He motioned for Chakotay to sit before he spoke. Gloomy words, drifted through the air, making the room seem more like a morgue then an office, to Chakotay's disoriented mind they seem to come from a distances, drifting in on an eerie fog. "Commander, I sorry to say this, but I have to, the chances of her surviving now that the virus has embedded itself in her lungs and, is very slim. It's attacking her most vital organs and if even one of them fail, she wont live to see tomorrow." The doctor looked down to his hands, not wanting to see Chakotay's pain, knowing that there was nearly nothing he could do to help.

Chakotay managed to choke back his tears long enough to speak. "I know doctor, but I also know that you will do everything that is in your power to save her." the doctor looked up and their eyes met. The doctor saw the amount of trust the commander had in him. He only wished that, that trust wouldn't be misplaced, that he could find some way to spare him the pain of losing her. Though the situation was grim.

Kes' voice then interrupted the two men. Her voice was urgent, pleading, and scared, all the emotions mixed into one solid mass of five short words "Doctor, we have a problem."


	6. Journey

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 6

Journey

The doctor and Chakotay rushed out of the doctor's office. "What's the problem Kes," the doctor all but shouted.

"Her blood pressure as dropped suddenly, and her heart rate has diminished"

'_Not now captain, come on, you've fought this far don't give up now'_ the doctor thought as he grabbed his tri-corder, and began to run it over her still body. The situation was spiraling out of control, her heart rate was continuing to drop as well as her blood pressure, and the pathogen had only just begun to destroy her white blood cells. "Come on captain" the doctor spoke aloud this time as, he pressed yet another hypo-spray into her neck, to the doctor's relief the alarms that had started to ring, quieted.

A small smile crossed Kes' young features, "she's stabilized." It was at that moment Chakotay let out the breath, that he didn't even know he'd been holding. The doctor looked in the direction of the two. His face still set.

"She's stable for now, however I don't know how long she'll stay that way." The doctor set his tri-corder on the tray next to Kathryn's bed, and retreated to his office, leaving Kes to monitor her. Chakotay sat himself on a bio bed, to keep a visual on her.

"She's strong commander, and we both know that she will pull through" Kes had come up behind him, and rested one of her small hands on his shoulder. He turned and looked at her. Her young face held a look of hope and promise, Kes was sure, that her beloved captain would make it through.

"I know, it's just" he stopped trying not to cry.

"Just what commander?" her voice was soft and pleasant.

"It's just, we've only had but, three weeks together, and now, it's looking more and more like, she…" he stopped the pain of saying those few words became too much. Kes moved in front of him, placing a hand on each of his shoulders, forcing him to look at her.

"She will make it, I know she will, don't start talking like she won't because we both know that she will. I have seen her come through worse situations then this. Captain Janeway is the strongest person I know, she won't let a little thing like a virus kill her. And if you start thinking that she isn't going to make it, then you have given up hope, and that could be the difference between her wanting to keep fighting, or her giving up. She loves you and at this moment she needs you the most." Kes stared deeply into his eyes, and if possible, she looked as if she and grown up fully in those fleeting moments. She looked as old and wise as Kathryn herself, and Chakotay then knew that Kathryn would live.

Chakotay was about to speak when an alarm sounded. Kes quickly ran back to her station to assess her condition; she looked back at Chakotay, a smile on her face. "The pathogen has worked," then raising her voice a little louder, "Doctor, were ready for the next stage."

The doctor came out of his office, relieved to know that they were that much closer. "Please hand me the antidote" Kes handed him, a small cartridge that contained a blue liquid. He loaded it and with a hiss, he was done. He then turned to Kes once more. "Please get ensign Wildmen for me" Kes nodded, then proceeded to contact her.

"Why, ensign Wildmen?" Chakotay asked slightly confused. Kathryn and him had the same blood type so why wasn't the doctor just going to use him as a donor. "Kathryn and I have the same blood type."

The doctor nodded, "that may be true, however the captain has a rare cofactor, which makes it to where she cannot receive bone marrow from just anyone with her blood type, If it were just a standard blood transfusion, then it wouldn't be a problem. However Ensign Wildmen does have the cofactor." Chakotay nodded, genetics never was his strong point, and so he just acted as if he understood.

The doors to sickbay opened, and Samantha Wildmen stepped in, Naomi in her arms. "You wanted to see me doctor?"

"Yes, were ready," She nodded, fully understanding what he was talking about. She then looked around to find someplace to put the small child. She saw that Kes was busy, but noticed Chakotay.

"Commander?" she stated, he looked over to her, at first not understanding why she called him, then as if someone had hit him over the head, he figured it out.

"O yes of course," he said opening his arms to accept the small girl. Once Sam was free of her child the doctor led her to a bio bed, and Chakotay sat down on another one, with young Naomi.

"Camanda, what ong ith da aptin" the small girl questioned looking in the direction of Kathryn.

"The captain's very sick, but your mommy, Kes and the doctor are going to make her all better." He told the young girl.

"Ow?" she asked now looking at him.

"Well, see your mommy has in her body, something that will help the captain, so the doctor's going to take it and give it to the captain, and she'll be all better."

"Ut, mommy won have it no ore," she stated looking vary alarmed.

"Yes, she will, the doctor is only taking a little, just enough to make the captain better."

"I ope so," she said wrapping her arms around Chakotay, needing a reassuring hug. Chakotay hugged her back, praying that the words he said about Samantha would be true, that she would help to save Kathryn.

"Commander?" Kes asked.

"Yes, Kes"

"Why, don't you take Naomi to the mess hall, It will be a bout an hour before we are ready for the transplant, and It would probably be a good idea not to keep Naomi in her that long." Kes smiled to the little girl that had looked up at her when she heard her name.

"Samantha is that all right?" he looked over to the young blonde.

"Yes, that's a wonderful idea." Chakotay nodded then looked at the small girl. She looked very serious staring at him.

"Let's go to the mess hall, ok"

"I don wan go, I won say ith mommy." She placed her small arms on her hips, an action that he'd seen Kathryn perform on many occasions.

"It's ok honey, momma will still be here when you get back, go with the commander, please, sweetie."

"Ok mommy" she nodded then hung onto Chakotay tightly as he stood and left the room. "I ove you mommy" with that the doors closed.

In the mess hall, Chakotay set the young girl down at a table in the corner. He smiled slightly as he realized that Kes had pulled a fast one on him. She didn't want him hanging around sickbay worrying, and used Naomi as an excuse to get him out of sickbay, as Chakotay grabbed his tray, and Naomi's Neelix came over to him.

"How is she commander," Neelix's normally exuberant voice, and a strange edge to it. He was obviously trying to pretend that there was nothing wrong.

"She's not doing well," his voice sounded foreign even to himself. "We've nearly lost her twice now, Samantha is in the process of donating the bone marrow, Kes thought that I should bring Naomi down here, until they are ready to perform the transplant."

"Don't worry commander, she'll make it" he patted him on the shoulder, and went to attend to a crewman that had summoned him. Chakotay returned to his seat opposite his young charge. There, the two of them sat waiting to be summoned back to sickbay.


	7. One Step Forward Two Steps Back

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 7

One Step Forward Two Steps Back

Just under and hour after Chakotay had taken young Naomi to the mess hall his comm. badge sounded, "Commander, we are ready, you'd better get down here."

"I'm on my way, Chakotay out." He then looked at the tiny girl. "You ready to go see your mommy now?" she nodded as Chakotay picked her up. The two then left the mess hall for their not so long journey to sickbay.

In sickbay the doctor was preparing Kathryn to receive Samantha's donated marrow. Chakotay walked in and handed Naomi to Samantha, making her a very happy child. He then walked over to the consol that Kes was at. The doctor looked at him, "your just in time, I'm ready to administer the morrow." Chakotay nodded and the doctor then started the final procedure, with Chakotay standing and watching the entire time. Samantha to stayed and watched, wanting to make sure that her captain survived.

Once the doctor was done he looked at the small audience that had gathered. "We will know if it is working in about four hours, in which case she will recover, however until that time there is a strong chance that she won't." he took a deep breath, "all we can do now is wait, it's up to her and what ever higher power there may or may not be. Kes keep monitoring her; I want to know if there is any change in her condition, just like before. I will be in my office, as for the rest of you, you can either stay here or, return to duty, there is nothing more any of us can do." With his final words he disappeared behind his door, only to be seen sitting down at his desk through the window.

Chakotay looked around at the few other faces in the room, he then walked over to a bio-bed and sat down, "I have no intention of leaving until I know that she is safe," Samantha then walked over and sat next to him, cradling Naomi.

"I don't want to leave either, I'm going to stay and keep you company." She set Naomi next to her; the young girl had fallen asleep in her mother's arms, during the transplant.

Both sat in salience for some time, the comm. was what broke the eerie stillness in the air. "Bridge to Commander Chakotay," came Tom's voice.

"Yes Tom," he asked.

"We were just wondering how the captain was doing,"

"The doctor has finished her treatment, but we won't know any thing for another few hours."

"Thank you, Paris out" it didn't take long, the alpha shift had ended just twenty minuets after Tom's call, and soon the senior staff sat waiting in sickbay. The doctor looked up from his monitor briefly, and out of his window toward the captain, when he moved his head to resume his gaze on his monitor he noticed all the people waiting. He smiled. 'She has to make it, with all the people in the room that love her, there was now way that can't' the doctor thought to himself. 'if only she knew how many people love her' he stood and walked into the other room.

"Doctor" Herry asked.

He smiled at him, if not halfheartedly, "I figured everyone else is waiting in here, so why should I wait in my office?"

Herry smiled slightly as the doors to sickbay opened, to revile another small group of people. Slowly over the next hour the room filled up, everyone it seemed that wasn't on duty was in sickbay, hearing that they would know how that captain was doing in just a few hours. The room was so crowded that when Kes called the doctor over there was barely enough room for him to walk yet the room was so quiet that the sound of the engines permeated everyone's soul.

"Yes, Kes." Not a single person moved, not even to breath.

"It worked, the virus has been eliminated." And as if on cue one collective breath was released. Yet still no one moved, to scared to, thinking that if they did they would wake up and realize that they were dreaming. Long minuets ticked by with the doctor scanning her, checking his results. After what seemed like ages he spoke.

"The blood cells have successfully eliminated the virus, now all that is left to do is repair the damaged areas, and she should make a complete recovery." And if space had played a cruel trick on him and the crew, one by one alarms started to fill the still air.


	8. Lingering Phantoms

Authors note: I'm soo so so sorry that I haven't updated in, god knows how long, but well life has been less then pleasant this last year, also I'd switched e-mail accounts and I still can't get this place to update it so I failed to receive your reviews until just about now…

Well here it is the update!

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 9

Lingering Phantoms

Chakotay locked eyes with the doctor. "What's wrong?"

The EMH didn't answer he was scanning her, trying to figure out what the problem was. Her heart had stopped, more then likely due to the damage that the virus had caused. He quickly shooed Chakotay and the others out of the way, and erected a privacy screen, calling Kes in.

He low hushed tones so the crew couldn't hear he spoke, "we need to open her up and repair her heart." Kes nodded, and handed him the tools he would need, the alarms rang out a slow steady tone completely unchanging; it was the tone that no one in the room wanted to hear.

Time stood still, everyone's ear listening, waiting. The sound of breathing didn't seem to exist, then ringing like a thousand trumpets the tone changed, to a short pulse, then another, it was slow and strong.

Still the room remained silent, until the screen came down, and the doctor looked up. "I've repaired the damage" with seconds the room bustled to life. Smiles and tears crossed everyone's faces; even Tuvok had a change in expression.

The doctor motioned for Chakotay to fallow him into his office, and for Kes to try and shoo everyone away so the captain could rest. Chakotay sat down in his office and waited to hear what he had to say.

"She was without Oxygen for a long time, only time will tell if she's suffered any permanent damage, but it looks like she's going to pull though, she's going to live, but we won't know the extent of her injury for a while, not until she wakes up." He stated.

Chakotay only nodded, he already knew what might happen as soon as he heard the alarm, and the amount of time it took for them to get her back. "I understand" he looked out the window to see everyone filling out of the room, Kes had some how managed to get everyone to leave. He looked at the doctor, "she probably threatened all of them with physicals while they were there" he offered up a slight smile.

The doctor smiled too, "Probably"

Chakotay stood, "Can I sit with her?" he asked. He waited for a nod then wen't to her said; there was no way the doctor was going to get him to move from his seat.

Authors Note:

I know it's been a long time since I updated, so long that I had to go back and read the story over again to know where I was… but here it is, I will hopefully get the next chapter up very soon  It's good to be back.


	9. Deathly Quiet

Okay I know you all must have given up hope on me by now, but an UPDATE! OMG isn't it amazing! Well anyway here you are please enjoy

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 10

Deathly Quiet

After what seemed like ages, Kathryn finally opened her eyes. The room was dark, and oddly quiet. She felt awful, her head was hurting once more, and she felt as if all of voyager had been dancing on her chest. She turned her head from side to side, trying to get her Barings; soon a fuzzy image came into her view. It was Chakotay. She opened her mouth to speak; "hi," came a muffled sound, though not to her ears.

Chakotay stirred, he'd heard something; looking toward her he smiled. "Doctor," he called out before looking back at her, "hey there, you gave us quite a scare."

Her she blinked her eyes a few times, trying to clear her vision, she looked baffled for a moment, realizing that his mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out, in fact she began to notice that she couldn't seem to even hear the hum of the core. She turned her head, her vision had cleared for the most part, she saw the doctor, his mouth too was moving; she managed to make out what he said. "How are you feeling?"

Her eyes sunk, "doctor" she said, her voice was barely audible. "I can't hear" it'd turned into nearly a whisper.

The two men's hearts sank. She'd definitely suffered some brain damage, the extent was still unclear, and as to whether or not it would be permanent, which was yet to be determined. The doctor looked her in the eyes, he was aware of the fact that's she knew sign language, they'd discussed it many times before. He began to sign and tell her everything that had happened.

She nodded understanding, disappointed to say the least, but thankful to be alive. She then turned to look at Chakotay. She was obviously distressed; he picked up on it and pulled her into his embrace. He whispered to her, but realized that she couldn't hear him. So he then just stroked her and healed her.

Though she was devastated at her current circumstance, she was thankful she was among the living; however she was so tired, that the feeling of warm embrace was more than enough to lull her back to the world of the unconscious. Once Chakotay realized that she was sleeping again, he lay her back down on the biobed, they hadn't yet had a chance to test her motor skills, but it didn't appear that she'd suffered any damage to her memory or to her higher cognitive functions. It was disturbing that she couldn't hear.

He looked up to the doctor, "what do we do from here?"

Well the first thing is to let her regain some of her strength, and then we'll do some more in-depth testing. Hopefully the damage won't be to server and with surgery can be corrected, but the most important part is to remember that she's alive." The doctor placed his hand on Chakotay's shoulder.

Chakotay nodded, he was right, she was here alive, and that was all that truly mattered. People adapt to different situations all the time, she was strong no matter what happened from this point on she'd get through it. "Thank you doctor, for everything" he looked toward him.

"You're welcome" he smiled, "though I think that you should go and get some sleep, before I give you a sedative, you've been here for nearly three days straight, I think you should get some rest, take a shower, and eat a bit more then you have been." He was stern; he didn't want the other half of the command team to wind up needing medical treatment as well. "I will give an update to the rest of the crew and let them know that she has awoken and is doing fine that there is no signs of the virus."

"Thank you doctor" with that, Chakotay left reluctantly, but not before he placed a tender kiss on her for head. "We'll get through this, no matter what happens." And with that he was gone.


	10. Coming to Terms

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 10

Coming to Terms

By: Butterfly Kathryn

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I just playing (Wink)

Summary: Chakotay finally convinces Kathryn to give up her all mighty principles, and they began to explore their relationship, but Kathryn comes down with a rare but deadly disease, will her admission of her love have come too late?

Waking up in sickbay was not exactly what she liked doing, but she'd been doing it for quite some time. Pulling herself into a sitting position she let out a slight grown, hoping that the doctor hadn't heard her. She was stiff and sore from lying down for so long. She felt weak, but thinking back to all that she'd been through that wasn't much of a surprise. The world was still too quiet, she couldn't hear anything, and that feeling haunted her. She shook off the eerie feeling, and swung her legs over the edge of the biobed. She hadn't even attempted to stand in days, but she was starting to go stir crazy just laying in the darkness. Slowly her feet made it to the floor, she held onto the bed as she pushed herself up onto her feat, only to find herself flying toward the floor.

The doctor had been working on some reports in his office, but the unmistakable sound of a thud, followed by a few choice words, caused him to go running to the other room. He quickly bent down, attempting to assist his captain. She pushed him away from her, and managed to get herself back into a sitting position. She reached up and attempted to pull herself back up into a standing position. The doctor decided it was best to let her try, but after a few mins she finally gave up and slumped back against the bed. She was pissed.

He let her sit on the floor for a few moments before he offered his hands to help her. She reached out and took them both, and slowly the doctor helped to lift her back up onto the bed. He took a few scans to make sure that she hadn't injured herself in the fall. Once he was sure she hadn't he set the tricorder down. He signed to her, 'What were you doing?'

"I'm going crazy in here" she stated, "I hate just lying in here, there's got to at least be something that I can do" she felt helpless. The doctor regarded her intently, then asked how she was feeling. "I'm feeling pretty well for the most part, just weak" he nodded, then motioned for her to wait for a moment. There wasn't really much need to keep her in sickbay, aside from the fact that she really needed round the clock care, because of her weekend state, however if there was a way that she could get the care she needed outside of sickbay, it might actually do her some good. He was still working on a few theories on how to restore her hearing, and as far as her weekend state of being unable to walk, that would be easily corrected with physical therapy.

She leaned slightly so that she could see the doctor in his office, he was talking to someone, she was wondering what exactly was going on. She watched as he came out of his office and walked toward her. He was smiling. He then informed her that Chakotay was coming by to take her back to her quarters, however she needed someone to stay with her, and he'd spoken with several of the crew members and they were all willing to help out. He also let her know that her physical therapy sessions were to start first thing tomorrow.

She nodded in understanding, not quite liking the idea of being treated like a child, unable to do anything for herself; but it sure beat staying in sickbay. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Chakotay come into the room. She was more than a little glad to see him. He smiled at her then managed to clumsily sign, 'ready?'

Laughing slightly at his attempt she nodded. That doctor had already given Chakotay strict orders, so all that was left to do was get her out of there and settled in her own bed. He called for a transport, and soon they were in her sleeping area. He made sure that she was comfortable, and then disappeared only to reappear with a cup of coffee and some oatmeal. She had a goofy grin on her face, she hadn't had coffee in what seemed like ages, it was one thing the doctor wasn't letting her have. "Thank you" she said as she took the warm cup into her hands, she slowly took a sip, savoring its flavor.

Chakotay suppressed a laugh, as he watched her savoring the coffee. She then finished up her bowl of oatmeal. By that time she was pretty tired, not realizing that doing anything made her very tired. He took note at how exhausted she looked. He handed her a data padd, being that he only barely knew sign. It said 'perhaps you should get some sleep' his concern was genuine. She nodded, "will you stay with me?" she asked. He nodded then helped her to change into her pajamas. He'd brought over a night sack and he too changed, it was late and he didn't have to be on duty for twelve hours. He then climbed into the bed next to her, and called for the lights.

He smiled as he felt her shift into his embrace; she placed her head on his chest and was soon fast asleep. Chakotay basked in the warmth of her body, it'd been a while since he'd been next to her, and he was enjoying it. He wrapped his arms around her in a protective manor, nothing was going to harm her again, and he too then drifted into the world of dreams.

Weeks had passed, and the doctor still hadn't come up with a plan to restore her hearing, however he was determined. Her therapy was going well, and she was able to pretty much do most of what she'd done before, she still felt drained at the end of the day, but she no longer needed round the clock care. She was placed back on restricted duty, reading reports, and well frankly just sitting in the command chair. She wasn't allowed to go crawling through the Jefferies tubes or anything like that. The crew had all made an effort to learn to sign, some were better than others, but the fact that they were trying meant a lot to Kathryn. She was coming to terms with the possibility of never getting her hearing back, though her new found disability didn't seem to waver the crews trust and respect for her, that in itself was priceless.

The bond that she had with had grown even stronger. She sat in her chair, and looked to her side, Chakotay smiled back to her. He didn't know what he would do if she weren't in his life. Report he called out for her, and the morning reports were given in both sign and speech. Once everyone was updated, Kathryn excused herself to her ready room; she had some reports to read. She placed her coffee cup down on her table, and lifted up the first one. After that one was done she moved to the next.

Soon her cup was drained and the stack of pads that had been read was much larger than the ones that hadn't. She stood and stretched, and moved to the window and starred out into space. Her train of thought was broken by the flashing of lights. She turned toward the door, "Come in" she said. When the doors parted it reviled Chakotay, he had a very large smile on his face. His signing had become much better and he walked over to her, and signed, 'I was told to come and get you, the doctor wishes to speak with you.' She looked at him for a moment then nodded; then the two of them made their way to sickbay, she was curious as to just what the doctor wanted talk to her about.


	11. Bitter Sweet

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 11

Bitter Sweet

By: Butterfly Kathryn

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I just playing (Wink)

Summary: Chakotay finally convinces Kathryn to give up her all mighty principles, and they began to explore their relationship, but Kathryn comes down with a rare but deadly disease, will her admission of her love have come too late?

Kathryn stood just inside the doors of sickbay; she'd been called down there for some reason. She hoped it was good news, being that Chakotay was grinning from ear to ear. She looked around and couldn't see him, becoming frustrated she moved toward his office. "Doctor" she called out alerting him to her presence. Not too long after her summon he appeared from around the corner. "You asked me to come down here, just wh at is this about?" the annoyance at his little game was clear.

He stopped for a moment then signed, 'I think I've come up with a solution to a little problem we've been facing.' He waited for a moment for it to process.

"I'm listening" she paused for a moment, "so to speak" she added, a bit of resentful humor evident in her tone.

He motioned to her to follow her back into his office; he sat in his chair and motioned for her to join him. She did, and noticed that Chakotay was too sitting down across from the doctor. The doctor punched in a few commands and called up some information he then turned the monitor toward her and let her read over the data. She looked up at him, "Do you think this will work?"

The doctor nodded, and signed. 'It's not without its risks though, any type of surgery especially one dealing with the brain is risky, but yes I think it will work.'

She nodded, "Will you excuse me for a moment, I would like to think this over" she looked at Chakotay; he knew that she wanted his opinion. The doctor nodded, and left the room, leaving the two of them to discuss the procedure over in private. Once the doctor was gone, Kathryn turned to look at Chakotay. "What do you think?" she looked up at him. She needed to know that he would be okay with the risk, normally she wouldn't want to go through any kind of surgery, but this might just give her the ability to hear again.

'It's risky' he signed to her.

"I know" she sighed, she looked down at the desk, the possibility of being able to hear again was overwhelming, she would have jumped at the chance if it were just her own life that was affected, but it wasn't. She had Voyager to think of, and Chakotay, she needed to put their well being first, but on the other hand, not being able to hear put her at an extreme disadvantage. That too wasn't good for the crew.

She was looking away from him, down at the table, she looked pretty sad, lost in thought. He knew that she was weighing everything, the crew, the ship, her own feelings, trying to figure out just what was the best course of action, yes having her hearing back would benefit the crew, but the procedure was risky and she once again would be at death's door if she went through it, however what was the better option in the long run. He didn't want to lose her, either way. He reached out and touched her face, moving his hand underneath her chin; he lifted it so that she could look him in the eye. He then said "It's whatever you choose" hoping that she'd caught what he was saying.

Tears filled her eyes, she nodded, she wanted to go through with it; it was what they'd been waiting for, for quite a while. She then said "I want too" a single tear running down her cheek that had managed to escape.

He wiped the tear from her cheek. He brought her to him, embracing her, letting her know that he'd be there no matter what. After what seemed like ages he release her, she then called for the doctor to come back into the room. "When can we start?" she said, she was trying to sound upbeat, but she was nervous and scared, and just a tad bit unsure.

'Right away if you want' he signed.

"Give me a few hours, I want to let the crew know" she waited for his response then left his office, "Chakotay, please assemble the crew in the briefing room" he nodded, and gave her one last hug before he left to gather them up.

She slowly walked down the corridors of the ship, she took in ever sight she could, how the walls were connected, the way the ground felt beneath her feet. She nodded as some young ensigns by passed by. She finally made her way to the briefing room, where the entire senior staff was waiting.

She nodded to all of the crew to take their seats, and took her place at the head of the table. She then began to speak, "I've gotten some news from the doctor; he has found a way that might give me back my hearing. It's risky, and I may not make it, however we have been through far worse situations. I have decided with a little help." She looked toward Chakotay, "that I'm going to go through with the surgery. It's something that I feel would be the best for me, and for you" she looked at all of the crew sitting before her. "Now I may not get another chance to say this, but it has been an honor serving with every one of you. You have all not only exceeded my expiations, but have blossomed and grown so much over the years, you have become not just a wonderful crew, but true and valued friends. I know that if I don't make it through the surgery, you will be the same steadfast crew for the commander as you have been for me." She paused for another second, trying not to cry in front of the crew. "does anyone have any questions?" she looked around, all of their faces were solemn, not a single person moved to ask any questions, they all understood why she was going to have the surgery, and couldn't blame her. "in that case you're all dismissed"

Kathryn watched as not a single member of the crew moved, she was about to say something more when Tom broke the stillness, he stepped forward and placed his hand on her shoulder. He nodded and offered her a smile and a slight squeeze before turning and exiting the briefing room. He was followed by B'Elanna, Harry, and Neelix. When it was Tuvok's turn he didn't place a hand on her shoulder, but offered her a "live long and prosper" then it was just she and Chakotay left. He stood in front of her, and took her hands into his. He locked eyes with her, and then said "I'm with you, no matter what."

The tears that had been fighting to escape finally did. He wiped them away before giving her a gentle kiss. After pulling back he nodded, then took her arm in his, showing that it was time to go. She nodded then took a deep breath before the two of them excited the briefing room.

On the other side of the doors, was something that she hadn't been expecting, Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, and Tuvok along with the rest of the bridge crew stood at attention lining the path. She could see one of the crewmen take out his whistle, and could imagine the sound as she watched his hand move up and down along it. She managed to make out him saying "Captain on the bridge."

It was all that she could do not to just start crying, as she watched in amazement. Chakotay led her through the mass of people and into the turbo lift, when they got to the deck Sickbay was on, and stepped out the scene mirrored that of the bridge, officers were lined up all the way down the corridor. She nodded at Samantha and her daughter just before the made their way through the doors to sickbay. She was touched and amazed at the procession. "You did this didn't you?" she asked, and all she got in return was a smile.

The doctor was even standing at attention, when she entered sickbay, and next to him was Kes. She turned to look at the doctor, and he asked if she was ready. Taking a deep breath she gave her answer, "As ready as I'll ever be"

He motioned to the surgical bay; she nodded, and climbed onto the bed. He pressed a hypo spray into her neck within moments the world was dark.

Chakotay looked at the doctor, and said "take good care of her"

"I will I promise" came the doctors reply.

Chakotay then took his seat on another biobed, as the doctor erected a privacy screen, and started the procedure.


	12. The Long Slumber

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 12

The Long Slumber

By: Butterfly Kathryn

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I just playing (Wink)

Summary: Chakotay finally convinces Kathryn to give up her all mighty principles, and they began to explore their relationship, but Kathryn comes down with a rare but deadly disease, will her admission of her love have come too late?

It'd been hours, and Chakotay hadn't realized that he'd fallen asleep. He slowly came too, opening his eyes, for a very brief second he wondered why he was in sickbay. The thought was fleeting though as the full reality of everything that had been going on hit him. He quickly sat up and was a bit humored to find that a blanket had been placed upon him. He looked toward the surgical bay, the screen was down.

He stood and went to her side. She'd made it through the surgery. He sighed in relief. Then placed a kiss on her forehead and made his way to the doctor. "Why didn't you wake me?" he asked turning the corner.

The doctor looked up at Chakotay, "You'd been up for hours, and I decided that it was best to let you sleep, she wasn't going anywhere" he stated in the 'it's for your own good' tone.

Chakotay nodded, he did feel much better, but he still would have preferred to have been awakened, he let it slide for now, because his primary concern was on her. "How's she doing?"

"The surgery went according to plan." He nodded, "Have her sedated heavily, her brain needs time to heal before we wake her up"

Nodding once more Chakotay left the room; he went to her side and grasped her hand. He stood over here for a while, before he kissed her, then turned and left. He was already late for his normal shift rotation, but he was sure the crew would understand. As he stepped off the bridge he was met with questioning gazes. He nodded as he made his way to his chair, once on the main part of the bridge he made an announcement. "She's made it through the surgery; now all that's left is to let her heal."

Looking around he saw all of their faces, they had the same expression; they were happy and relieved, but still worried. The same emotions were mixed up in himself. He took his seat, and asked for a status report. Everything was the same as it had been the night before. Thankfully they were traveling through a pretty desolate region of space.

-----------------

It'd been nearly a week since the surgery, and she still had not awoken. The crew's morale was starting to take a major hit, as well as Chakotay's. Days had gone by since the doctor had decided to stop the sedative and let her awake on her own. He was reluctant to bring her out of it using medication. Chakotay was on the bridge pacing. In fact he'd done this action so many times, that he was sure he was going to need to replace the carpet. Tom seemed just as anxious, though he was sitting; he was constantly tapping his hand on the console. Harry too was anxious, the waiting to see if she'd wake up was almost more than any of them could handle. Thankfully the bridge shift would be over soon, and they could go and pay their respects and check up on her.

A couple more hours passed and the Alpha shift was finally over, Chakotay after stopping by the mess hall to get a bite to eat made his way to sickbay, this had become a routine, and nothing short of an all out attack on voyager was going to break it. The doors parted, and he walked in, the doctor had gotten smart with the number of visitors that she had he'd finally decided to replicate a chair next to her bed. Neelix was sitting next to her, telling her all about what was going on in the mess hall and with the crew. Chakotay smiled for a second, "Neelix, my turn."

Neelix turned and looked at him, "Yes of course, just keeping her up to date" he stood and nodded as he left the captain's side, his seat didn't have a chance to cool, the body that was on it was replaced by him. He too found himself giving her an update. How long they'd been on their course, right down to minor repair issues. After giving her an update he settled back into the chair, he took her hand, and then grabbed out a data padd from his pocket, he began reading to pass the time.

After some time, Chakotay became aware of pressure on his hand; lowering the padd he noticed that she'd started to squeeze it slightly. His heart skipped a beat, and then another one when he heard a slight moan. "Doctor" he called out, hopeful.

Stepping in from his office, the doctor looked toward Chakotay, "yes?"

She moved her head slightly before he could speak, "I think she's waking up"

The doctor was by her side his tricorder out within seconds. He nodded, "I think you're right" she moved again slightly. He called to her to move her toes or respond in some way. But she only moved her head. Her eyes had begun to move from underneath her eyelids. "Captain can you hear me? If you can squeeze my hand" he'd picked up her right hand, both of them were occupied. She didn't do anything. A look of worry crossed his face, catching note the doctor tried to ease it, "she may still be to asleep to respond just yet, I'm going to try to help her come out of it, being she's trying on her own." He injected a hypo spray into her neck.

Both men stood there and the seconds seemed like an eternity waiting to see if it'd help. Letting out a breath Chakotay smiled as her eyes finally reviled themselves for the first time in ages. She blinked several times, before she swallowed, her head was pounding. "Hi" she attempted to say but she only mouthed it.

The doctor wanted a moment, to let her catch her bearings. When she looked as if she were fully conscious he asked the all too important question, "How are you feeling?"

The sound of breathing stopped, Chakotay held his breath waiting; he sent out a silent prayer that all of this hadn't been in vain. She swallowed again, and moved her head from side to side; she looked at Chakotay, then back to the doctor. She pulled her hand out of the doctor's loose grip and placed it on her forehead before she spoke. "Like a trai…" she stopped midsentence as the reality of what had just happened hit her.

Chakotay let out his breath, and took in a few very fast ones, not sure if what had just happened, happened. "Like a what?" he asked daring to see if she'd respond, she was looking at the doctor, but turned her head and looked at Chakotay.

"Like a train hit me" she too was trying to keep her breath, as she also attempted to sit up, "Like a train" she was excited, though still feeling pretty groggy. She turned to look at the doctor, after being pressed gently back down on the bed, "It worked"

The doctor too was smiling, and of course running a tricorder all around her, making sure that she _was _alright, being this was the first time any more then minor brain activities were going through the damaged areas. "Yes it seems to have, and you're brain patterns are normal."

"welcome back" Chakotay smiled, "it's been a while" he was holding her hand stroking it, not wanting to let go for fear that he'd wake up and find this all to be a dream.

She nodded; she was still very tired, even after a weeklong nap. The doctor took note, "I think that we should let her sleep, and I'm sure the crew would like to know that she's awake" the doctor was slightly annoyed when the commander didn't move, "Commander" he raised his eye brows.

"It's alright Chakotay, you can go, I'll still be here when you get back" she was tired and understood why he didn't want to leave, but the doctor had a point. He nodded, and smiled more; he bent down and kissed her cheek.

"Alright, you win, I'll let them know, but I'll be back later" he started moving but waited until the last second before he released her hand. Then he disappeared behind the doors to sickbay.

Once he was gone, she moved her gaze from the door back to the doctor. "Doctor?" she said.

"Yes, captain"

"Thank you" she'd reached both her hands over to his one, and grasped it, "for everything."

He nodded, and placed his other hand on top of hers; "just doing my job, now you get some sleep" he smiled. And pulled his hands from her, before calling for the computer to dim the lights, and disappearing into to his office, this time for some long awaited updates to her medical profile.

Relaxing back onto the bed, she closed her eyes, who knew a short conversation could be that tiring, but within moments of shutting her eyes, she was fast asleep.


	13. Best Wishes

Out of the Darkness into the Light

Chapter 13

Best Wishes

By: Butterfly Kathryn

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I just playing (Wink)

Summary: Chakotay finally convinces Kathryn to give up her all mighty principles, and they began to explore their relationship, but Kathryn comes down with a rare but deadly disease, will her admission of her love have come too late?

The next morning she woke to a very quiet voice, she opened her eyes but at first didn't see anyone. The sound came again, "aptain" looking down alongside the edge of the bed she smiled, it was little Naomi and she had a piece of paper. She held it up for Kathryn to take. "I made dis for you" she said.

Kathryn took the paper and smiled, it was a stick drawing, and the word get better soon had obviously been written by her mother. "Thank you" Kathryn smiled at the girl. Naomi smiled and nodded then turned and ran back to her mother.

Looking in the direction that the child ran Kathryn smiled, "Thank you" she said it was the first time she'd had a chance to really see Sam since the whole thing and begun.

Sam nodded with a smile. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat"

Kathryn to nodded in understanding, she looked at she heard the doors to Sickbay open, it was Chakotay. She smiled very broadly. Chakotay made his way over to her, but first stopped to say hello to Samantha and Naomi, who was delighted to see him. Sam then excused herself so the two of them could be alone.

"Hi" she grinned.

"Hi" he took the seat that was next to her. "How are you feeling today?"

"Much better, it's been so nice to be able to actually talk to people." She looked down at what she held. "It's from Naomi"

"That's so sweet," he smiled as he took the card to look at it.

The Doctor came around the corner, he'd decided that she could leave, there wasn't much more he could do for her but allow her to get stronger again, and well to just enjoy having her hearing back. He was feeling quite proud of himself, and was sure that if they'd ever make it back to the Alpha Quadrant that he'd have a nice paper in a medical journal somewhere.

"Hello Doctor" Kathryn said.

"Good afternoon" he stated, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm doing fine"

"That's good, I think that it's time we got you out of here, though I'd prefer if you didn't go back to duty right away, say two days cabin rest?"

"Is there any way we can make that one?" she asked not really thinking he'd back down.

He shook his head. "Sorry two or you can stay in here for those two days."

Chakotay chimed in, "two days cabin rest seems just fine to me," he looked at her; she was giving him a mock glare for taking the Doctor's side.

"Fine two days" she stated, she really wasn't that upset but be had to keep her reputation up.

He nodded, and moved aside so that she could get off the bed, this time she didn't have too many issues with getting herself up, she was tired and worn out still, but for the most part she hadn't lost too much of what she'd regained from the last time she'd been in there. Chakotay never the less stood close to her, holding her arm just to make sure she didn't fall.

That Doctor watched as the two of them left, he knew that Chakotay wouldn't let her get herself into trouble.

Chakotay guided her inside her quarters; she smiled as she saw a bunch of thing piled on her couch. "What's all this?" she asked.

"gifts from the crew, the doctor didn't want them cluttering up sickbay, something about it being a tripping hazard, so I had them brought here for you." He smiled.

"Wow" she simply said as she carefully made her way to the couch, he'd left a single cushion open, there were bears, flower, boxes, and cards. "It's going to take me weeks to read all these" She looked up at him.

"They really do love you Kathryn" he knelt on the floor next to her, and helped her to pick up the first one. It was from B'Elanna, the next was Tom's, then Harry's. They continued well into the night reading cards and opening presents.

Kathryn awoke the next morning in her bed, she had no idea how she'd gotten there, she figured she'd must have fallen asleep at some point and Chakotay and moved her. The bed next to her was empty; the smell of something cooking filled the cabin. She stood pulling on her robe and made her way into the living area. It'd been picked up. Her eyes lit up as she noticed the table had been set for two. She turned toward the kitchen when she heard a sound, it was Chakotay. "Ah you're up, just in time"

She laughed as she took her seat like he'd motioned, he placed a plate full of waffles down in front of her, and then poured a cup of coffee for her. She picked up the cup and smelled it, took a sip, then set it down. "You know" she spoke, "this might be a bit dangerous, I could get used to this."

He smiled, "now don't go getting to used to it, after all you're the captain we wouldn't want to make you soft."

"Well I don't think that's ever going to happen, after all it wasn't even breakfast in bed." She laughed as she took another sip of coffee.

"In bed eh? I thought you'd be sick of being in bed" he joked back.

She paused for a moment and thought, "okay you got me there" she really had had enough of being in bed, and aside from enjoying being taken care of she really wanted to get back to work.

The two of them finished their meals and then Chakotay had to get going for his bridge shift, he left giving her a long passionate kiss. She leaned into him wishing he didn't have to go. When they finally broke apart she was breathless.

He then smiled, and whispered, "I'll see you tonight; I've got a surprise for you."

Before she could respond he was gone, leaving her to simply stare at the back of the doors.

The day seemed to drag on and on, Chakotay and told her that he had a surprise for her, and that was making her go crazy. The Doctor didn't want her on duty but he said nothing about her not being allowed to at least go to the mess hall. Her breakfast had been wonderful, but it was now midday and she was hungry. She most certainly didn't feel like cooking for herself and the idea of a hot meal sounded wonderful to her.

She grabbed a simple blue dress from her closet and pulled her hair back into a pony tail. She slipped her shoes on then made her way to the mess hall, it'd seemed like age since she'd been down there. She walked in and found the place to be very lively. She went to get her tray and Neelix was very pleased to see her. "Captain, it's wonderful to see you, how are you feeling." He took a tray and filled it, but didn't hand it to her, instead he came around and escorted her to a seat carrying her food her. She smiled to herself a bit.

"I'm doing fine Neelix, thank you or your concern." She sat allowing him to 'take care' of her, though it would be for the day, and that one day only.

"That's wonderful, would you like anything else?" he asked, "tea, juice" he paused then smiled, "coffee?"

Kathryn laughed, "Coffee would be nice"

"One coffee coming right up" he then bustled off to the kitchen to get it and wasn't gone long. He handed it to her, "anything else?" he asked he so wanted to make his captain comfortable.

"No I'm fine Neelix, thank you" she stated.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you very much" she placed her napkin on her lap. Neelix was going to say something else when Kathryn cut him off. "Really I'm fine, this looks wonderful and I very much appreciate everything."

Finally taking the hint he smiled, "It's not a problem Captain, just call me if you need me" he then hurried off to the galley to assist the other crew in getting their meals. Kathryn mused to herself a little; they were really going out of their way.

Not even halfway through her meal she heard someone else come up behind her. She looked up to see B'Elanna. "Lt." she smiled, "how are you?"

B'Elanna smiled, "I'm alright," she looked the woman in front of her over, "how are you?" it was a loaded question.

"I'm doing fine; in fact I'm feeling the best I've felt in a while." Noticing that she had a tray Kathryn thought for a moment, "Would you like to join me?"

Smiling the young woman nodded, "I'd like that." B'Elanna sat down to join the other woman, and within the next few minutes, Kathryn's table was full, Tom, and Harry had noticed that B'Elanna was sitting with the captain and both wanted to join.

The four talked for a while, mainly catching up, they were very happy that their captain and friend was doing so well. Tom Joked, "glad that the doctor finally let you out"

Laughing slightly Kathryn said, "You're not the only one, I'm allowed to go back on duty the day after tomorrow." She looked between all of them, "so that means no more goofing off and slacking got it?" she grinned, knowing that they more than likely hadn't been.

"Aye Aye Captain" Tom joked back.

B'Elanna played along too, "Slacking? Whatever could you mean?"

"Well," she smiled, "I mean being late for your shifts? Or not coming back from lunch on time."

It was Harry that realized they'd been their way longer than an hour. "O man, I guess you're right, should have been back on duty twenty minutes ago"

Kathryn laughed, "Just tell the commander that you have a note from your captain" she winked as the other crew hurried up to get back on duty. They all said their goodbyes and wished the captain well. She recycled her tray and returned to her quarters for a good book and a nap. Wanting to know what Chakotay's surprise was going to be.


End file.
